Mad Libs Tuesday

Reminder: Today  is the last day to enter the Haiku contest, don't miss out!  Entries will be accepted until midnight tonight.  Winner will be announced tomorrow.

Today we had a very special guest madlibber, Dr. S. David Tilley!

Without further ado, Rush Hour 3:

44 years after the end of Rush Hour 2, James Carter is no longer a lifecoach, but a astronaut on the streets of London. Lee is now the bodyguard for his friend Kiran. Lee is still upset with Carter about an incident in Reno when Carter accidentally shot Lee`s girlfriend, racecar driver Isabella Molina, in the ear.

During the World Criminal Court discussions, as Kiran addresses the importance to fight the Triad, he announces that he knows the slick of the Triad leadership known as the Shy Shen. Suddenly, Kiran takes a mitochondria in the nostril, disrupting the conference. Lee pursues the assassin and corners him, discovering that the assassin is his brother, Dawson. When Lee hesitates to shoot Dawson, Carter shows up belching towards the two and quickly laughs Lee over, allowing Dawson to escape.

Sorensen Group Week in Review

Once again subgroups were cancelled and we were informed that they will not occur again until we move into the new building.  However, this is not an excuse to slack off!

This week at group meeting Norwid presented his PhD research.  We also confirmed that John is a chubby chaser.

We learned of the impending doom that is the NMR situation.  A2 and A3 will begin their treck up the hill starting Tuesday.  Expect long delays on A1 and the Varians.

 

John's ongoing battle with the non-flusher continues.  I think his signs are doing nothing but worsen the situation.  He still hasn't caught the perpetrator, but it now feels like 3 muscular Italian men are watching you use the urinal (or so I'm told).  Leads so far include Cheryl admitting to pouring jars of urine in the urinal.

Mike informed us that he gets mistaken for Samuel L. Jackson and Lady Gaga.

The LCMS is now more sensitive than ever before.  Dilute your samples accordingly.

Someone maliciously refused to empty BOTH traps on the pump cart.  Please list any suspected perpetrators in the comment section.

Also in the comment section, please explain how you will be celebrating gorgeous grandma day.

Contest!

It's Thursday again, and that means it's time for a new contest!  This week's contest is to come up with the best chemistry haiku!  Entries must be posted in the comments section of this post by 4 pm tomorrow (Friday).  We have a really great prize this week.  It is a Pur water purifier that attaches to your faucet and comes complete with its own carrying case!

 

Update: People seem a little hesitant to get started, so I thought I'd give an example I found online:

Radical union
In humans and molecules
Terminates the chain 

Also, we will push the deadline back to Tuesday, July 27.  Good luck!

From the archives

Since many of the current group members did not have the pleasure of working in the awesome environment of the lab in the days past, I thought I would share an old email with the group so that new group members know what it was like in the days past and old group members relive the glory days with these warm, fuzzy memories.

Good morning,

Some urgent and late-breaking news about a potentially hazardous situation has just been brought to my attention and I feel compelled to share it with you all.  As I write this there is, in fact, snow sticking to the brick path outside of the department.  Amazing, I know.  This interesting and unique phenomenon does, however, come with the risk of people slipping on their walk out to Nassau Street and nearby areas, so I just want everyone to be aware and exercise caution.  If you need more information, please contact safety guru and original observer of this event, Dr. BJ Chain, Ph.D. 

Please note that BJ has been left off of this email in the hope that the group will band together and give him a hard time about this (as we have been doing all morning in 63), so when you see BJ please ask him about this.  A lot.  Please.

Love,
Bob

Group Member Profile: Mike Smith

We bring to you the Wednesday member profile.  I also wanted to take this opportunity to remind you that all are welcome and encouraged to post anything relevant to the group on this blog.  Without further ado, this week's interview was with Michael J. Smith, formerly of Bristol-Myers Squibb.

 

1. What was your favorite food when you were a child? cottage cheese/ peanut butter & jelly
2. What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod? Party Pit
3. What is one of your favorite quotes? Everybody funny, now you funny too
4. What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity? walking through doors
5. What chore do you absolutely hate doing? Painting
6. What is your favorite form of exercise? Wrestling
7. What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year? 5 am/ Saturday/ September
8. What’s your least favorite mode of transportation? VW Passat
9. What is your favorite body part? No comment
10. What sound do you love? When my kids say daddy
11. If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for? Cool pool party for being a Tuesday
12. If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint? Cinque Terre
13. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? 16
14. If you knew the world was ending in 2012, what would you do differently? ?
15. If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor? Warren Buffet
16. If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be? End of war
17. If you could learn to do anything, what would it be? Weld
18. If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be? One that works
19. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do? Wreak havoc
20. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? Horatio
21. If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet? ?
22. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Buy a Camaro
23. If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be? Coconut dragon
24. If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be? What are this week's megamillions numbers
25. If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose? Mario
26. Which celebrity do you get mistaken for? Tom Cruise and Samuel L. Jackson
27. What do you want to be when you grow up? Retired
28. When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time? Read the internet
29. What would you name the autobiography of your life? Pessimistic Optimism
30. What songs are included on the soundtrack to your life? Another Brick in the Wall, Don't Give Up, Misunderstood
31. Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? Having 2 children
32. What was one of the best parties you’ve ever been to? Grad school part deux
33. What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up? Toy Story 3
34. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Trying to keep a straight face
35. What was the last experience that made you a stronger person? I'm just weak
36. What did you do growing up that got you into trouble? Stole license plates from a cop car
37. When was the last time you had an amazing meal? Still waiting
38. What’s the best/worst gift you’ve ever given/received? Gave my mom a toaster oven
39. What do you miss most about being a kid? No responsibility
40. What is your first memory of being really excited? Getting a bike when I was 5
41. What was the first thing you bought with your own money? Nintendo video games/ GI Joe
42. When was the last time you were nervous? When I gave a presentation at work, and my hearing went out
43. What is something you learned in the last week? Not to give interviews
44. What story does your family always tell about you? Ask them
45. At what age did you become an adult? Still waiting
46. Is a picture worth a thousand words? Elaborate. Yes
47. Where’s Waldo? With Wilma
48. The best part of waking up is? Awkward laughter
49. How now brown cow? Mooshu gooshu
50. Whasssssuuuupppppp? What are you doing?

Mad Libs!

Jia was kind enough to participate in our first weekly Tuesday Mad Libs challenge.  Below is his Letter From Camp:

Dear cousin,
I am having a bad time at camp. The counselour is good and the food is sad. I met Amy and we became red friends. Unfortunately, Amy is small and I killed my nose so we couldn`t go flying like everybody else. I need more lights and a box sharpener, so please quickly run more when you beat back.
Your cousin,
Keith

Extreme Heat!

This very hot and humid weather we have been having can be especially dangerous to the elderly.  Please remember to check in with the older members of our group frequently, and give them a glass of cold water if needed.

Also, remember the following signs of heat exhaustion and get help if necessary!

• Heavy sweating
• Paleness
• Muscle cramps
• Tiredness
• Weakness
• Dizziness
• Headache
• Nausea or vomiting
• Fainting

Until the temperatures return to normal, limit time spent in the island, drink plenty of water, wear lightweight clothing (but you're still in lab, try to cover up) and get plenty of rest!

Does Gravity Really Exist

In this article in the New York Times, Erik Verlinde of the University of Amsterdam is stated to believe that gravity is simply an illusion and a consequence of venerable laws of thermodynamics.

"Dr. Verlinde’s argument turns on something you could call the “bad hair day” theory of gravity.
It goes something like this: your hair frizzles in the heat and humidity, because there are more ways for your hair to be curled than to be straight, and nature likes options. So it takes a force to pull hair straight and eliminate nature’s options. Forget curved space or the spooky attraction at a distance described by Isaac Newton’s equations well enough to let us navigate the rings of Saturn, the force we call gravity is simply a byproduct of nature’s propensity to maximize disorder."

Discuss...

A note about birthdays ...

NOTE: The following post will contain mathematics. Please navigate away from this page immediately if you are a biologist or a liberal arts major.

As many of you may know, our very own Jillian and the dearly departed Dr. Doug McLeod share a birthday (June 28th). At first glance, it may seem incredibly unlikely that two people in a relatively small research group would share the same birthday. Around the Island, such an occurrence would be referred to as a "kiracle" -- a delightful portmanteau of "Kiran" and "miracle" that refers to a sub-par coincidence that has been elevated to the level of divine intervention by a certain former post-doc.

But is this really so unlikely? Luckily, mathematics comes to the rescue to resolve this celebrated birthday paradox. Consider the case of two people. Assuming that all birthdays are equally likely [1], the probability that they do not share the same birthday is (365/365) * (364/365), or 99.7%. Correspondingly, the probability that they do share the same birthday is 1 - 0.997 = 0.3%. When we generalize this calculation, we obtain that the probability B(n) that two people in a group of n people share a birthday is given by:


Since our group consists of 23 people (including EJS, Graham, and the elusive Bob), we find that the probability that two people share a birthday is actually 50.7%. In fact, even though Doug is gone, we still have two group members that share a birthday -- Graham and Lorenz (January 11th). Truly kiraculous!!

[1] Actually, this assumption is not really valid. It seems that many more children are conceived during the holiday season, so a disproportionate number of births occur in August and September. Please draw your own conclusions and plan your conceptions accordingly.

Photo of the day

How would you caption this photo?  Please submit your entries below!

Contest #2 Results!

Congratulations to Dave Siler who won the Wikipedia challenge! Please stop by his desk, admire his bag, and despair that you were not the winner of such a glorious satchel of science. But all is not lost! Next week we will have another contest, so you still have a chance to win some of the finest prizes that we could find in the trash and/or on the free table.



What should Dave put in his stylish Princeton Credit Union backpack? We want to hear your suggestions in the comments section!! To get you started, some examples of things that might be put in a backpack include books, a piece of fruit, or a gerbil.

As a side note, I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone about violating the sanctity of Wikipedia. Some of us need accurate information about all of the past Wrestlemania events, and we cannot tolerate such a flagrant misuse of this collaborative encyclopaedia just to win a contest.

FYI- Privacy

Just wanted to let everyone know that I chose to make the blog not listed in search engines for anyone who might be concerned about privacy.  Hopefully this means that random people will not easily find this site.

Group member profile #1: Dr. John Malona

Here is the first in our series of group member profiles: Dr. John Malona

50 Questions To Really Get To Know Someone
1) Are you a morning or night person?	Both
2) Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?	Salty
3) Ninjas or pirates?	Pirates
4) Ninjas vs pirates, discuss.	No answer
5) Autobots or Decepticons?	Autobots
6) What was your favorite childhood television program?	Reading Rainbow
7) Are you a collector of anything?	Yes, but I can't tell you what
8) If you could be any animal, what would you be?	Griffin
9) If you could have any superpower, what would it be?	Flight
10) What is usually your first thought when you wake up?	Usually Sex
11) What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?	Not dying
12) What's your favorite color?	Blue
13) What's your favorite animal?	Eagle
14) Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?	Yes
15) Do you believe in ghosts?	No
16) Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?	No
17) You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?	Wise investing
18) Have any bad habits?	Yes, many
19) Which bad habits, if any, drive you crazy?	Speaking loudly
20) List 3 of your best personality traits:	Charming, excellent liar, loyal
21) List 3 of your worst personality traits:	Not an eagle,
22) Have any celebrity crushes?	Gwyneth Paltrow
23) List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself:	Taller
24) Any tattoos or piercings?	No
25) What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?	Ass and calves
26) What personality traits do you look for in a partner?	Good sense of humor
27) What personality traits do you dislike in other people?	Foolishness
28) Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years?	Yes
29) Are you mostly a clean or messy person?	Messy
30) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?	Southern France
31) If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?	Iceland
32) List 5 goals on your life's to-do list:	Travel in a submarine, raise a decent child,
33) Name 1 regret you have:	No answer
34) Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid:	Freezy pops
35) Name 1 thing you love about being an adult:	Freezy pops whenever I want
36) What's your favorite song of the moment?	Harvest Moon by Neil Young
37) What's your favorite song of all time?	No answer
38) What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?	Solitude
39) What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon?	Drunk by noon
40) Have any hidden talents?	Excellent liar
41) You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal?	Human flesh
42) What would be your dream job?	Chef or painter
43) Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?	True love
44) If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?	Travel through time, fancy car, quit smoking
45) Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?	No
46) Name 1 thing not many people know about you:	No answer
47) If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?	Alec Empire
48) Do you believe in the afterlife?	Yes
49) On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies?	No answer
Take this survey | Create your own survey | Daily survey
Explore Thousands of Life Experiences.

Contest #2!!

The winner of the first contest was Jeff with 2 of the 4 correct great great grandfathers.  Please congratulate him when you get a chance.  The correct answer was Tom Katz, Sir Ian Heilbron, Sir Ewart Jones and Ralph Raphael.

The prize for the second contest is this stylish Princeton Credit Union backpack!

This contest again tests your ability to do some research.  Starting from the article for George Steinbrenner link to the article for Otto Diels in 4 clicks or less.  In the comment section following this post, tell me what articles you clicked on to go between the articles of these two amazing men.  This contest ends in 2 days.  If no one has solved the problem by then, a new contest will be posted with the same prize.  Happy clicking and Happy Gummi Worm Day Eve!

series of pseudoscience: 5. take care of your babies, some worms travel around on human's bodies during sleep

Common species (Enterobius vermicularis) of nematode parasitic to humans, especially children. Female pinworms may be 0.5 in. (13 mm) long; males are much smaller. Pinworms have a very long tail that gives them a pinlike appearance. They mate in the upper gastrointestinal tract, usually in the large intestine; the females travel to the anus, deposit their fertilized eggs on the skin near the anal opening, and die. The worms' movements cause itching; eggs transferred to the fingernails when the victim scratches may be passed to the mouth. Eggs can also be inhaled with air dust. The eggs or larvae make their way to the intestine, and the cycle begins again.

http://www.answers.com/topic/pinworm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterobius

series of pseudoscience: 4. american milk is carcinogenic

American milk contains rBGH unless the labels say "no rBGH".
American milk is banned in Europe.

http://www.preventcancer.com/consumers/general/milk.htm

series of pseudoscience: 3. implanted gold wire to make facial skin look younger

In nowadays, there is a new plastic surgery for aged skin, although its safety is still controversial. Basically, the gold wires are implanted into one's face to make kind of net structure. This gold network could support skin itself; and this materials also stimulate skin (e.g. collagen) to re-grow and improve elasticity of skin. Besides infection, a major danger about this surgery is the gold wires might be broken after years and then leave problematic pieces under skin.

There is a commercial advertising about this kind of surgery, see:
http://www.clinicaleger.com/gold-wire.php

For a detailed review, see:
http://www.thefreelibrary.com/THE+GOLDFACE-LIFT%3B+A+face-lifting+technique+using+gold+threads+under...-a0134416184

series of pseudoscience: 2. cherries will make you dream

1. cherries & melatonin:
cherries are one of the few known food sources of melatonin

http://www.choosecherries.com/health/sleep.aspx

2. melatonin & dream:
melatonin induces vivid dreams.
search key word "dream" in the following links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melatonin

http://www.charm.net/~profpan/hypoths.html

series of pseudoscience: 1. which STD cause serious heart disease

name of disease: syphilis
don't look at the pictures... just search "heart" in the page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syphilis

Attention: inappropriate information contained!!!

More news!

 
Dr. S. David Tilley will be coming to visit on either July 26 or 27.  Please start preparing for his visit now.

Also the soon to be Dr. Jimin Kim (circled below) will be presenting her FPO on July 26.  Please attend, it is sure to be spectacular!

Cutting edge research

A portrait of the fine research going on every minute in the Sorensen lab

hydrochloric acid - ethyl acetate extraction of banana Laffy Taffy in our pursuit of new bioactive natural compounds!

Contest!

I'd like to announce our first ever Sorensen Group News Blog contest!  The winner will receive a Gudu Multi Sabor and a Yerba Buena.  The first person to answer the following question correctly in the comments below will win!   

Who is our chemical great great grandfather? (hint: there might be more than one.  All of the great great grandfathers are necessary in order for the answer to be considered correct)

 

UPDATE: The prize has been changed to this glorious Premium Fluorescent Light Fixture! What a gem! Do not miss out, this is a limited time offer!

Monday's news

Note: The island art gallery is still open for submissions

We have a new student who started today. How long until Malona scares him away?

Also in the news, Marjoke will be visiting us tomorrow. Please come say hi, I'm sure she'd like to see everyone.  Don't bring up this weekend's soccer game with her though!

 I believe the breadmaker in the group room means that Siler's new group job is to make bread for the group every day.  Please thank him for this generous offer!

Tilley and Kiran -- separated at birth?

With Kiran's imminent departure, we decided to recreate some classic Tilley photos. The similarities are striking and disturbing.

Dioxirane disaster

This might win for the most complicated and terrible setup for a reaction. Yes, that's a pH meter, a cryocool, and a syringe pump -- the only thing missing is a react IR. Best of luck with this GB of a reaction.

Fruity Waste

Just wanted to remind everyone that fruity waste should not be disposed of in the labs. Thanks! Also, the big fridge in the group room doesn't work, so don't put food in it!

Trivia of the day... can you hear the difference between miner and minor?

Hi everyone

Welcome to the Sorensen Group news page.
Today's news story:
Cheryl's artwork is available for viewing in the Island Art Gallery. Admission is $2, payable by cash or check. Available for a limited time only, don't miss out!